Saturday, January 9, 2010

December Dilemma

Notice that I didn't go into the details of the time that I was at the hospital. I originally wanted to, but I am still thinking whether some events are really better told personally than written. So, I decided to just pass on it and just try to go into bits of experience later on.

I got out of the hospital on the 26th of November. The first week was not very easy not just because of the pain, but also, the adjustments that I have to do during these first few days of being home.

Another hard thing is that the result of the biopsy [taken from the cyst] did not turn out good. My doctor-friend could not tell me personally so it took a while before my sister had the courage to do so. After the revelation, my friends started coming. They started to spend more time at our home than the usual. They have their weekend dinners here at our home bringing stuffs to eat. I really appreciate it even I abstained from eating what they brought. This is because I opted to go for alternative ways to fight cancer.

I am most touched by those friends who tried to help in their little ways. Most of them drop by for a visit to ask what's good and what's not good, then come back with whatever they can bring. I have a friend who came here bringing a kilo of muscovado sugar because she learned from us that this is what I am using instead of the regular sugar. Someone brought me a piece of underwear as a gift. One friend brought a Nescafe-glass full of miracle seed which he said his mom used to cure one of her illnesses previously. I wanted a link of this but currently all I can find are ads here and there so I opted not to.

During these two weeks, I have a dilemma. After detecting the cancer, I was advised by my doctor-friend [who has been there for me all along, too] to go for CT Scan to stage, locate and detect new growths of cancer. I DID NOT want to. For physical, mental and financial reasons. Mental because logic tells me that what is the purpose of spending too much to just know where and what stage the cancer is. I have cancer... that's it, period.

But after thinking hard, I came up with the reasoning. If I choose to go for alternative medicines, how will I know if I am improving or deteriorating? How will I know if what I am doing works? There should be some point where I can start. Convinced, the only problem was the second reason. And through the help of relatives that I didn't even ask, I went inside that dome-like equipment for about 30 minutes. Not to mention that I had to drink this substance for contrast [a CT Scan process that brings clearer results].

It was the 17th when we got the CT Scan result - CLEAR. All tests - pelvic, abdomen and chest - did not show any new growth, any stage, any sign of cancer.


During these two weeks, I maintained a diet that does not include all those cancer-causing and cancer-enhancing foods. Well, these foods are those that are mentioned by friends and relatives who have relatives or friends or know-someone with cancer. I followed all this, totally changing my diet to just vegetables and fish [deep sea fishes], etc. And there is one plant that my Dad heard of to cure cancer. It's the regular back-yard, most-of-the-time ignored plant, MALUNGGAY [Moringa oleifera]. If, STILL, some of you do not know what it looks like, I took this picture [just this morning] in front of our house where we harvest our leaves. I have done a lot of research on this plant and the more I researched, the more I am finding out about the benefits of this plant, other than cancer prevention and cure.

picture copied from this site


One of my friends also told me that the native GUYABANO [Soursop aka Guanabana and Graviola in other countries] fruit is like having chemotherapy 10,000 times. He said that one of his friends has cancer and underwent chemotherapy for several times but came in to a point where he told the doctor that he can't anymore. He was told by his doctor to eat Guyabano instead because that is 10,000 times worth of chemotherapy. So, I included this in my diet, too. I take a small portion of it together with my breakfast every day.

Of course, we all know about the carrot so I won't go into that. But, just FYI, I also have a piece of that every day, either turned into a shake or as a snack (which sometimes may get a little difficult to finish). Just to give a little tip, carrot shake is kind of rough when you're swallowing it but that is bearable.

I opted to write about these things [thus, making this post longer] because I believe these things help me through. If you know someone or someone-who-knows-someone with cancer, these things might help them through, too.

But above all these, I think the most effective is my doctor-friend's advice to PRAY and to "always keep a happy disposition, because being depressed and staying depressed activates the cancer cells."

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Market Day


Today.

Our town's market day.


I felt good that I can now finally visit the market. I miss those times as a young adult that I go to market to buy our food. Back then, I can approximately tell one kilo just by how heavy it is when I lift it with my hands. A skill I acquired through frequent visits to the market and of course, practice.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Within

Today.

It's my sister's second day on her aerobics classes. I went with her just to watch, because I am getting bored staying home. Besides, I will also see a lot of friends, a lot of people I know.

They started just about on time. As I watched them, I was envious. I was happy. I was teary-eyed.

Now I wanted to join, but I can't - not until after six more months.

I started to think back during those times that I could have been, those times that I wasted, and I envy these people for being lucky they can still do it. I said a little prayer for them so that they will have the motivation to continue doing what they already stared because it's good for them.

Some people [not exactly these people who attended] do it just to look good on the outside. Once they got the look they aimed for and lost those pounds they didn't, they stop.

But what they didn't know - and a thing that it took me a lot to realize - is that what it's really doing is good for what is within our body, which is more important.

Far more important.

Let's learn from other people. Now, ME being a part of those other people to learn from.

Sweet November

The schedule didn't go as planned. For three times, my operation was moved due to circumstances that are just there. But as we all know, but seldom believe, things happen for a reason. And when they finally they do happen, we are preoccupied with either thoughts or emotions that clouds our eyes that are supposed to see them. I, too, am guilty of this, like no other.

Since the time I went home, we were only aiming for the OB-GYNE's schedule. The postponement were actually things that I consider as directly and indirectly related to her itinerary. But the Friday [20 November 2009] that I was going to get my clearance to finally get admitted, a text message changed the whole thing. A surgeon was there and would be willing to do the the cholecystectomy.

Thus, it was indeed a sweet November.

And it was all set. I believe you also saw the reason why it took so long.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The Winds

It maybe due to the holidays, or the cold breeze... because I couldn't seem to bring myself to sit down and write about what happened after my flight. I have lots of thoughts about what to write, but the problem is I couldn't sit down. It's not that I don't have the time. I actually have a lot of time; being here in our home all the time. I then realize that this might be the same thing that happened when I stopped writing during Ramadan. I wish I am a writer so I can officially say this is writer's block. But I am NOT.

Anyway, I got here during one of the worse times that people can remember. And I am sure this is also one of those times that will be remembered for a long time. Ondoy and Pepeng went one after the other, and I got here when our people were still cleaning up what they left. I saw the pictures. But I wanted to be there, to smell the stale flood water, to ride through the flood. I told myself I will do it before my operation. And I did.

I particularly went to the street where I grew up... P. Burgos St.

My sister and I rode the pedicab from about 500 meters away which was in front of the church. As the pedicab waded through the floods, I was having goose flesh. I am seeing more than how I imagined. The mess they left with our Kababayans. But as we go through, I started not to look at what these two typhoons had done. Instead, I started to look at what our Kababayans are doing.

The pedicab driver kept pedaling, and I saw his feet turning white from long periods of being soaked with not-just-water but flood water. I see these people moving around continuing with their lives.

Then, I thought: We Filipinos are really very strong people. And as they tweeted a thousand times during Ondoy and Pepeng:

"Where I came from, everyone is a HERO."

I believe this is so.

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