Notes from the hospital

While I was waiting for my onco, I wrote a few notes down on my mobile phone's "Notes" function.

Here they are:

Still and element of Surprise

Someone gave me a good advice on what to bring while you're having chemo. A good book and good music. I had both but no time to read so I chose music.

She was right.

I was kinda set in a good mood when the shuffle mode gave me three of my fave songs amongst the playlist.

• Angels and Devils - Dishwalla
• Caught in the Sun - Naughty by Nature
• Push - Matchbox 20

There were several songs filed under my "Alternative" playlist and I always look forward to these three songs when I set it on shuffle, which I almost always do. It's just a funny thing how 'shuffle' mode still kind of put an element of surprise on songs we already know in the playlist but don't know exactly when they'll play.

Tingling Sensation

I dunno if it's just coincidence. But part of the chemo preparations was IV'ing corticosteroids. So fr, there were two shots and twice I felt a sort of tingling sensation between my thighs. It doesn't feel good, I tell you. I got scared at the onset of the first splurge.

The second time the nurse came for the other shot, I sort of half-expected and kind of conditioned myself to the feeling although I was hoping that's it's not happening this time. But it did.

And I wasn't scared anymore.

But I figured I'd asked my doctor later if it's really part of it or is it just me.

Compliments from three people

Funny what I got as of the other day.

Compliments from three people. And as in anyone of us, maybe you'd feel that not during this time, not during my condition.

They said that I look good. Instead of the expected, "you lost weight" or something that doesn't sound good at all. It doesn't really sound like a compliment on these circumstances.

But don't get me wrong.

It's not like I didn't like the compliment. I do. In fact, it even lifted my spirit, and lifted it a great deal. I do like the compliments. I do. Very much so. Given this circumstance. Which I think you wouldn't understand until you get into... and pray that you don't get into... that you never get into...