beLIEve

I write about everything. I write about my chat with friends, what I did this morning, my moods, but I don't write about my conversations. First reason is, I rarely have conversations these days. Second is, I don't normally talk about them, giving reverence to it even if it's just shallow. But just this once, I will give in to a request.

Someone, ironically, told me once, she read it that: The word LIE sits within the word BELIEVE. I said, 'oo nga ano?' And eventually, this same friend lied to me about her flight back home. But that's another story.

We all lie. But how much can we tell and how much can we take? How can a lie be something that makes you live?

We can only take too much, we can stretch to make room. But at the end of the day, it's still LOVE at the end of the line. The way they make us laugh like no one else ever did; the way they make us feel like no one else ever did. So, we ignore the lies and see HOPE. We start believing that HOPE is like a light at the end of the tunnel. We can also take hope as a wind we can ride. Hoping things would change like the winds shift their breeze and we can just switch our sails to go on and shift sails as the wind blows.

Compromise. Will you settle for a compromise after being lied to? Is that really how much we love? How deep we fall? How far we will go? How high we will climb? All for the sake of saving a relationship? All to go on riding high with the feelings they make us feel?

I said, "Compromise hurts."

She says, "No, it doesn't, it's just a wake up call to a relationship, a warning."

Oh well, we don't even know if it made sense. Sometimes, it's as if nothing seems to make sense at all in this world. But then, it's a conversation. Something with someone that you won't be afraid to say what you feel, what you like and not worry about what the other will think of. It's the kind of thing that you don't get with coffee shops, night clubs, bars, and what not. We all are afraid to get into a conversation these days, because sometimes people think that if we do not agree, then we shouldn't be talking and at the same time taking it a little personal. But, what is there to talk about when you agree on things? Like "yeah, that's right… I agree." Then, that's it, you take another sip on your coffee and hope that by the time it reaches your gastro either of you would have thought of another topic… that you can agree upon. Oh crap, best foot forward… all the time… uch! That sucks!

We all are looking for love. We all are looking for someone to love us and someone who we can love, too. But what if sometimes, some look for someone who can give something for love? Then it all becomes different. It becomes a lie more than a truth. It becomes a want more than a need. And it hurts like hell when it goes this bad, right? But we pick up the pieces, alone, in the dark, hoping a friend to be there. And I say, but this I didn't get to tell, for this came upon me while I was taking a shower.

At the end of the day, it's not about what you have and what you can do. It's just about being there.

I know she knows that, too. But as my boss once told me, "Sometimes it is good to have someone to bounce it off to. Even if you already know."

It seems endless, yeah, because it is. The spontaneity of it all. But I leave you with this [this is a pretty good question] in which we [again] disagreed on a lot of points:

If you have a month to live, and you've seen your girlfriend/boyfriend with someone, but she's trying and showing that she wants you or need you… will you let her go? Even if in fact you know the that someone is just a necessity for the time-being?