Moments like this

After deciding to stop going through chemotherapy, I pray for more moments like this.

After all those months, I feel so blessed to have friends from everywhere who have been with me all throughout.  I hope to have coffee with you guys one time.  All of you and I know that this journey wouldn't have taken me this far if not for all your prayers, help and support.

I feel so blessed to still have times like these and be with the people who have been a meaningful part of my life.

*Thanks to all IV-Narra '84 for uploading the pics and to my BFF, Reysie for this wonderful 'collage.'

From Las Vegas to Lucena to Laguna.

Thank you for coming.

A rare opportunity

I was off from chemotherapy for a longer time some time weeks ago.  I didn't have enough funds so I had to wait until we could raise the amount.  That was a good timing because I had to have my toenail extraction which could have been a bigger problem if I didn't deal with it right away.  Then, since I haven't been doing chemo, I could take off my mask even when there are visitors around.

And our friend Noneth got lucky.  She's been here on vacation for months and wanted to see me before she goes back in the States.  The timing was just right.  I was preparing for my fifth cycle when she asked BFF if they could come visit us.  She, together with my BFF, got a shot with me without my mask.

This is also one of the rarest times that I have a picture taken without a mask.  I think this is the second time.  The first time being my birthday, but that was fine because I didn't have visitors so it was okay, even if it was in between my cycles.

I long to have pictures with friends without my mask but that is not possible yet.  This could only be once I'm finally done with chemotherapy.  Right now, I only have two or three more cycles left.  My family, friends and prayer warriors pray for only one more.

I want to be done with chemotherapy before Christmas.

A post-birthday celebration with high school friends

I figured that since it had been three weeks since my last cycle, it would be okay if I have my friends over.    They have been wanting to visit for so long.  But circumstances do not allow.  It's either I've just had my chemo cycle or they couldn't make it because of their busy schedules.

So, when one of them sent me a message if they can visit, I told them that it's okay and we agreed that this Saturday will be fine.  (I was actually invited on a dinner birthday party but I declined because of the wound on my toes.)

I don't know how many of them agreed to come - since I didn't know who was organizing the plan, but urgent calls made them backed out the last minute.  I was actually a little disappointed since I was really expecting them.  But it's okay. I understand how busy can one get these days.

So, they are the only ones who made it.  Doc Mench brought a roll and asked me to blow the candles and make a wish. And of course, pancit for long life.  After dinner, we spent the evening talking about other things - poilitics, commercials, tv shows, etc.  

It was actually good seeing them again.

I get by with a little help from my friends

I have been thinking of this song recently. And I believe you know why. I am so thankful for all of you, my friends (and relatives, too), who have been there to help me out during these times. [You know who you are!]

No amount of words could ever describe how I feel for all of you guys who have been there when I need one.  

And I couldn't help but think what would it have been - and what it is now for me - if you all weren't there to help me out.

My Travel Buddies

One of my dreams is to travel.  In Dubai, I told myself that I would start to travel during my third year.  But I had to go home short of a month of my second year there.

I'm sure these ladies could have been my travel buddies had I stayed longer in Dubai.

*Thanks to @nelash for lending me this picture.  This was taken when they went to Turkey in 2010.  I could have been with them if I was still in Dubai.

Fourth

Fourth, a photo by Che Baldemor on Flickr.

This is the fourth greeting card I received since I got sick, but it didn't go by postal mail.

Anyhow, it's really nice to still get these things. I know this is very rare nowadays. I actually consider it as a dying art already.

I remember sending a lot of Christmas cards by postal mail to friends a long time ago. I did it for a couple of years - probably for two or three years. Until I got tired because I couldn't even tell if they got it or not. And back then, we really have to know because postal service sucks that bad.

Nowadays, I am still in touch with a lot of them, though it's only through e-mail. The odd part is I don't even know their physical address anymore.

As Time Permits

The weekend was wonderful.

I requested not to have assignments over the weekend because of reasons other than what happened this weekend. Things weren't definite by Wednesday and I understand because one of my friend's Dad was still finalize his bone scan schedule. If it falls on Saturday, then we might not have the chance for the despedida as time permits.

She came and will stay only for two weeks. Her dad was at the hospital for over a month now and was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. We went for a visit Thursday and it was a crucial day because they were still at that time trying to convince him to go for bone scan. My friend was trying to convince him to go but to no avail. She wasn't there when we came. We talked to his father who was the one who told us himself that he's been 'staged.' I took this as a pretext. When I had the chance, I told him about what happened to me and what convinced me to go for CT scan. I told him that I share his conviction with chemotherapy, but not with bone scan. I told him that I opted for CT scan to know where I stand. I told him that six months from now, I need to know if I was improving and deteriorating and there is no way I'll know if I don't have a baseline.

It was Saturday morning when I got a text message from my friend. She told me that her dad went for the test and thanked me for convincing her dad. She said that he wouldn't have gone if not for me. I told her it was a good thing that WE convinced him. I didn't want to take credit for everything; but it's a good thing for me that I was able to do something this important.

Our friendship dates back to maybe late 1990's. She used to hang out at my video shop after her classes - she was studying back then. We lost connection after I closed down my shop and 2004 and we just heard from her dad that she went to Canada in 2007. We reconnected just this year through Facebook's wonderful algorithm which reconnects friendships lost throughout the years.

But, we didn't know that she was confirmed to come home had it not been from someone. What a small world! This someone is one of our friends; my sister's student in her aerobics classes who became good friends with us. We have been to some gimiks like night-outs and dinners and birthday celebrations for quite a while now, but we just learned that our friend from Canada used to live in one of her apartments, and our friend lived there for quite a while.

I am just so amazed at how this is indeed a small world we live in. I remember how Mitch Albom ended his book, "Five People I Met In Heaven," with something like: There are no random acts... We are all connected... You can no more separate one life from another than you can separate breeze from the wind... " (I knew this quote was from this book, but didn't memorize it... I got the complete quote here.) I still couldn't believe that I met a person she knows for a long time now and that this person has also become friends with us. You might find it trivial but for me, it's something to celebrate, really.

Last night before I slept, I thought about how wonderful life is. I am so happy that after all these years of not seeing each other and being separated for so many years, we were able to reconnect and be able to spend at least one night of dinner with our other friends. We all wished it could be longer but again, as time permits. She's leaving next week, and only time can tell when we can spend some time together again. But like our other friends, we know they are still there and we are just waiting for a time to be together again.

Two Villas and a Flat

This news here has been a few days old. But it still trigger some memories.

I arrived in Dubai November 2007 not knowing where I will be staying. Having met a good friend from first trip to Dubai back in April 2007, I trusted her to make arrangements for my accommodation.

I landed in a villa good for six but at that time, one was vacant. The pay was cheap and that works for me, being a newbie. The villa had several rooms which will always be a question for me. Those that I know were maybe around eight including our own. But I didn't really find out exactly how many rooms were there. Maybe I didn't care. Just as long as our room is alright, it didn't matter.

Living in a villa in Dubai is not really ideal. Villas are prone to inspection and possible closure since the living conditions in some of the many villas are not really good. But, as for me, I was perfectly okay with where we were at that time. It was a place in Al Qusais and I feel very comfortable living there. The place is quiet, laid back and away from the city rush and pollution. I used to joke my room mates and friends that I chose to live in a villa because there is place where I can hang and dry my towel. A joke that is somewhat very true for me. I like my towel to smell like some clothes dried in the sun.

I also remember telling my best friend back home that I would really prefer good company than a good place. That's speaking in terms of the fact that I was happy with the people I lived with for about a year and a half. I will always remember we had our happy hours from 9pm to 11 pm. This is the time where we start to arrive one by one and sometimes have the opportunity to eat dinner all together.

Then, it was time to move.

I ended up in another villa that is a much better place than the one I left. I didn't have much time to interact with my room mates here since we were all preoccupied with our own jobs and our working hours rarely allow us to some bonding moments.

My stay with these people were short-lived because our villa was raided by the 'baladiya' (Immigrations people and anyone from Dubai know what this means) and our water and electricity were cut off, forcing us to look for a place to move into right away. I had no qualms about it because this is part of their law. So, all of us spent that whole day looking for our own places, because we thought it would be best to look for places near our work to save some travel time to resting instead.

 But I didn't end up with a place near my workplace. Again, I choose to look for a place where I could be tired yet have a good night's sleep than be five minutes away from my workplace and spend the whole night suffering from noisy, annoying room mates and house mates. I ended up with a friend's friend whom I didn't know at all at that time. She is a friend of the same friend who got the place for me when I first got to Dubai and I trust her judgments when it comes to these things. I ended up in a flat with her friend who is far more better than those two places I have. In fact, I used to describe the scenario like this: it's like you moved from the first floor of a hotel to a penthouse suite. Yes, far more better.

But again, my stay here at the flat was short-lived because I had to go home due to my medical condition. But I can say that given a choice, I will still choose to live in those two villas than the posh flat that I moved into. Villas give me a sense of home, no matter how far worse the conditions may be.

I wonder how it would be now for those people who live in villas. Back then, there was a law but it has been ignored for far too long. But now that there are more vacant flats that need to be occupied, they say this is the main reason why the Immigrations people are so eager to inspect. They need those flats to be occupied for economic reasons. But people stay in villas for economic reasons, too.

*The picture is the flat I lived in before I went home.

Three Questions

I am sad.

I received a message today that a dear friend of mine passed away last night. She has been fighting cancer for quite some time now, and I could say that it was a good fight.

We never really met, although we've been talking to each other for years now. If I am not mistaken, we met around year 2000 online and I think the communication was unintentionally broken somewhere around 2004 or 2005 when I kinda went offline most of the time. Then, I think we rekindled our communication when our friend succumbed to cancer I think in 2006. She was the one who broke the news to me. But the communication stopped there again.

We found each other again on Facebook last year. At that time, I have been seeing her updates and I thought I always saw something more than what she said. But I didn't ask. I learned to respect other people's different ways of dealing with whatever they are going through, so I figured it best to just let it be.

Until.

Until that time that she heard that I was on the same boat with her. I, too was diagnosed of the big C but was cleared after my December CT Scan. I got a message from her inquiring about my condition, replied that I am 'off the hook' and asked her how was it to be in this roller coaster ride. We called it 'our roller coaster ride' because we find it awkward to call it cancer. I asked how it was like to be in the ride longer than I have just been. She never really answered the question directly, but we started to talk about a lot of things. After a while, for some reason, we moved to e-mailing. Chatting was never our choice anymore. We found it more convenient to e-mail. And since it's not like we know each other personally and that we have yet to know more, we eventually wrote on our e-mails' subject: Three Questions. This is a move I initiated. On each e-mail, I could ask three questions about anything about her.

The only thing I feel like saying is the answer to this question: What is the newest thing you own? She said: pants and pullovers and a blue Samsonite shoulder bag. I colored it red because that's how she answers my e-mails. She inserts it in my letter and colors it red to signify that it's her reply.

My last question to her was: How was your summer when you were young? (I'm sure this would be worth more than three questions.)

She never got to answer this. But I got one last group e-mail from her for April. She wasn't pretending she was fine, nor was she pretending she was sick. It was just an update.

On her March update (a group e-mail again), she ended it with hoping for better days.

Now, she's gone.

And I still hope for better days.

My friend, here's to our happy, sad, roller coaster ride.

From those who promised, they were the only ones who made it.

They are two of the quite few friends I made in Dubai. Months ago, we talked about their vacation and their plans to come over our place. I noted it, but didn't expect. I got a message from them the day before yesterday that this day is the only day they have for the visit. I wasn't really so much prepared for this, but I was and is glad that they made it. We all wished they had more time. We had a great lunch and they had to go by three o'clock. Of all those people that told me they'll come, only these two made it. Awesome!

Moved

Three months ago, I shared a room with about twelve people in the OB-GYNE ward of the hospital where I was admitted for an operation.

Three of them are of the same case like mine. We were all due for an operation to have our ovaries removed.

The night after my operation, one of the patients passed away for some reasons that I'd rather not discuss. What I remember was that she was restless and started to probably feel nauseous and started vomiting; later on losing consciousness and reviving her didn't help.

I was discharged Thursday after being operated the Monday before. I left the other three since they still weren't fit enough to go home yet.

Last Christmas, one of the twelve people's daughter sent us a text message wishing us for the season. Then again, this Valentine's. We were so glad to hear that her mom is okay and back to work and normal life.

This morning, I got a text message from my sister who was on her way to town, saying that she rode the same ride with one of these twelve people's son. His mother was one of those that I left behind, and I heard that she was discharged after two more days. Today is his mother's funeral day. She suffered stroke and didn't make it.

I was deeply moved by the news. My sister and I longed to hear about these room mates with whom we shared a very important part of our lives. But this isn't the kind of update that we wanted.

These are the strangers who became a part of my life for a little while but made deep marks in my memory, since we all shared one common fate. One common fate, at least in each of our own lifetimes.

*There is just something sentimental that I find in this song.

My Great Expectations

Just about an hour ago as of this writing, I was talking to a friend I met in Dubai during those two years that I stayed there. I was kinda curious about her status that I had to ask. After the casual Hi's and Hello's, I found out that she's on a lay-over on her way back home; here in Pinas.

It is ALWAYS good to talk to old friends... those that we haven't been with for a while. In our case, I lost touch with her since I headed home.

Then, we asked where we each come from.

She told me that she'll visit me when the dust settles.

I felt good.

But I couldn't resist saying what was on my mind.

"Many have promised. But no one ever came. So, don't worry, I understand if you won't make it either."

But I'm still glad they wanted it, said it, promised it.

Considering the travel time from one place to another, time spent travelling is better spent with your families whom you saw only once in what? A year? Two years? Three?

We're friends, still. And I'm always glad we are.

*Image copied from this page.

November

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Ahn Pearl, 6; Verna, 19; Menchie, 19; Ayie, 25; Daya, 26; Daryll, 27

Last Week's Party

Mid-week. During the middle of the week, I confirmed with Mimi that I am planning to go back by November so I called her long distance to tell her to have me booked by the middle of next month. I specified this time because I counted (ooopppsss if I have told you this already) and I don't want my 60-day visa change to fall on that week of Christmas and New Year as I don't want to spend a single day of that week on that depressing island. I would know by Friday if she has already confirmed a flight for me or not. But chances are, I'd be leaving by the second week of November, because she says that we have to avoid the first week to make sure.


Later that day, it was one of my friends' birthday. She's Neneng, my high school best friend's sister, Pinx's high school classmate. Pero if you'll think about it, this history doesn't have anything to do with how we got close. Tipo the friendship doesn't date back to those years pero you still do not discount the fact that it has something to do with how you were tied up by those facts. Well, it was a dinner party with her other set of friends and her close relatives. Actually we were expecting to be home by midnight which was usually the case during birthday dinners recently. But then, with the videoke machine dominating the occasion, it turned out that we stayed longer than the usual. Her other friends brought in some booze and my group decided that it wouldn't be polite to leave and not join their concept of fun. So we did, and we found out that all we had to do was sing our hearts out and get a bottle of beer, and that's it. LOL! It was fun as it is, them being with their drinks and us with our off-key voices on songs that we wanted to sing and a lot of guts to sing it. But that's alright, we were just there for the fun and that's exactly what we had.

It was 2a.m. when we strongly asserted that we had to go. Funny but some of them were just starting to have fun. Good that we succeeded and sending our message and off we go to home and sleep.

===============

A touching story from my LJ friend Vina's blog.

Maligayang Bati

To all of you who celebrates this month....




Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, happy birthday
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

Hope it was a blast!!!





BELATED to those who already have celebrated.