This time, I needed a surgeon

I haven't talked about it but my toenail was a bother the past few weeks.  To put it simply, one would call it an ingrown.  But it's a little more than that.  Because an ingrown is just a little piece of nail that's trying to come out and it pushes our skin painfully.  Mine is different.  My toenail curls and squeezes a big part of my skin.  It curls in a way that it looks like a sushi and the skin was actually trapped inside and it hurts like hell when hit, poked, bumped or stepped unto.

I've had this back in 2009 and I had to endure it for almost a year.  My manicurista room mates (yes, two of them) tried to do something about it, but then, after a while, they said that I had to take it to a doctor.  I said I didn't want to go to a doctor there.  I don't trust the doctors there.  So, I lived with the pain until I had to go home.  Somehow, it healed by itself and went back to its normal form for some reason I don't know.  

Now it's back again, at the worse time.   About two weeks ago, my sister asked, "What can we do about it?"  And I said it's okay, I can handle the pain just as long as it does not bleed, or make a wound.  I told her that I was able to manage over it when I was in Dubai, so there is no reason why I can't handle the pain now.  

I would have had the nails removed under different circumstances - meaning, if I didn't have cancer and having chemotherapy.  I am actually scared that the wounds after removing it will get infected - which is what we are trying to avoid in all cases, that's why I am willing to go through all the pain again.

Nevertheless, I consulted it with my oncologist during my last visit the other day.  She told me I could have it removed since I am not having chemotherapy at the moment.  I asked her about the wound and she said it's okay, "kesa naman nahihirapan ka sa sakit."  I took this as a clearance - a go signal.

I went home thinking about it.  I know this isn't a work for our manicurista since I need anesthesia on this.  And besides, I wanted the whole toenail removed.  I was thinking of going to the provincial hospital and look for the surgeon who removed my ovarian cyst back in 2009, but I was apprehensive about it.  I am scared of being exposed to crowded places, and I am more scared of crowded places with sick people.  So, I struck it out of my two options.  With the only option of going to a private surgeon, the next thing to think about is how much will I spend for it.  I am trying to raise money for my fifth cycle and now comes this.  So, I decided to just let it be and see what happens.

I guess fate has a way of doing its thing.  Yesterday morning, I was going to play with Pepe when I noticed something different on my toenail.  There was a little amount of liquid coming out.  I got worried like hell and told my sister that we need to go to a surgeon right away.

And this is what happened in less than fifteen minutes, and on a fee that was way below than what I had in mind.  Had I known it's going to be that way, I would have had it done weeks ago.

He injected anesthesia on I guess three points around my toenail.  Then, he asked me several times if I can still feel it when he touches my toes.  Then it came to a point when I can only feel it but couldn't say where exactly.  Then, he said he just wanted to take it slowly just to make sure.  Then, it was done before I even knew it.  

I wish I had taken a picture of how my toenail looked like before the surgeon removed it.  It was not ingrown.   My surgeon said that it's the way my nails grow and it's the way it'll always be.  He said that he can actually remove the nerves so that my nails will not grow again, but he said it's not possible this time because it might get infected and it's not a good thing at this point.