When are we really brave?

"Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?" he heard his own voice saying, small and far away.


And his father's voice replied to him, "That is the only time a man can be brave."

~ A Game of Thrones
   George R.R. Martin

On Pain

"He looked at the pain, and he set himself apart from it. He saw it, examined it, identified it, corralled it. He isolated it. He challenged it. You against me? Dream on, pal. He built borders for it. Then walls. He built walls and forced the pain behind them and then he moved the walls inward, compressing the pain, crushing it, boxing it in, limiting it, beating it."

 ~ Lee Child
    Worth Dying For

How I wish it was just easy to believe this... much more do.

Robert Langdon: Take 3

Photo credit: goodreads.com

The Lost Symbol
by Dan Brown
My Rating:  ☼☼☼

I asked my Facebook friends which would it be:  Dan Brown or Elie Wiesel.  Dan Brown won.  And I guess it's just right since I've been reading a few holocaust accounts lately.

But I am not really THAT impressed with the book.  The plot is the same as that of the past two books, namely:  The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons.

It's very similar from those of the past two books. The plot goes predictable as you read along. The only thing that you have to watch out is how the puzzle will be solved and what is really the lost symbol - or what are they looking for this time. 

But, it just goes like this: an influential person is held captive. The captor wants something. This something needs to be solved and they need Robert Langdon to solve it. Then, again, there's this lady who goes with Robert as he journeys to find and solve the missing pieces. At times, it feels like the lady outsmarts him in more ways. 

Then, the climax. They are into this sacred place, with the captor, the captive, the lady and Robert - later on the authorities. 

You just have to look for what they are trying to solve this time. 

But I should say the concept of the lost symbol is brilliant.  

My second book about the holocaust

Memoirs of a Holocaust Survivor

by Icek Kuperberg

My Rating: ☼☼☼ 

Photo credit:  goodreads.com

This is another account of the holocaust.  This time from a man's point of view.  But for now, it matters not anymore.  Mala and Icek have both been in hell and back.  And they have their own stories to tell.  But even if it's not the same story, the similarities are stunning.

With the first book that I read, 'The Bleeding Sky,' I was half-believing that it really happened.  I remembered making a note:  "I thought that 'digging your own grave' was only at the movies... until I read this book."  And what this book did was to confirm everything that Mala told.  They both have been to Auschwitz, although Mala's account was more detailed.  I assume that she must have stayed there longer than Icek.  But again, it matters not.

Icek was only seventeen when the war broke out.  Just like the others, he was transferred from one camp to another from time to time, including Auschwitz, which they considered the death camp.  His ability with metal works gave him extra food to stay stronger - and therefore to stay alive.  He was lucky to have a boss who was kind enough to do things for him that any ordinary German of that time wouldn't do for a Jew.  At the point of almost being totally blind, his boss saved him from sure death.  Because during that time, as Mala said in her own account, "if you're not fit enough to work, you're not fit enough to live."

The one thing in common with Icek and Mala is that they are both lucky.  I wouldn't say that they are both knowing for there are a lot of instances that the stroke of luck saved them both from sure death.  The other thing is their unbelievable fight to stay alive.

They risked their lives in order to live.

Mala's dreams vs reality

The Auschwitz Camp Entrance (Image from this site)

"In Auschwitz, I would often dream about my home.  It's interesting that in that hell many of my dreams were quite pleasant.  I would tell everyone that I lived for those dreams.  The time I was awake was the real nightmare."
The Bleeding Sky as told to Louis Brandsdorfer

Her sunset and mine

The Bleeding Sky

as told to Louis Brandsdorfer

My Rating: ☼☼☼☼

"Toward the evening the sky took on the same color as the fires.  Everything took on that color, the sky, the buildings, even the ground.  Just before the sunset the red in the sky would deepen to the color of blood.  I imagined the sky bleeding.  I imagined the heavens suffering with us.  To this day, a red sunset reminds me of the bleeding sky of Auschwitz."

This is the first book that I read about the Jews.  Mala, one of those who survived the war, tells the story to her daughter, and the quote above moved me very much.  I am so thankful that I see 'red sunsets' in a totally different light.

"Five hundred million little bells"

I thought I finished all my books here in the house.  But I remembered this book which I bought way back in 2006... during my call center days.  I remember starting to read it but couldn't grasp whatever it was trying to say.  It's probably the environment I was in or the atmosphere... whatever.

It didn't change much though when I tried to read it a few days ago.  But a lot of things have been clearer now than before - at least on those parts which I have read.

I thought I would be carefree when the little prince was leaving and going back to his planet.  But like the author, I was saddened that he had to leave, for there were a lot of lessons in life that we both learned from the little prince.

The most important were probably these:

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"But the eyes are blind.  One must look with the heart."

"One runs the risk of weeping a little, if one lets himself be tamed."

"The thing that is important is the thing that is not seen."  

The little prince liked to speak in riddles.  It's probably the reason why I had a hard time understanding what he was trying to say.  One thing that struck me the most is his encounter with the fox.  "One runs the risk of weeping a little, if one lets himself be tamed."  The fox wanted the little prince to tame him, and since the little prince didn't know how, the fox taught him.  I suggest you read the book to find out how this part was very touching.  The book is short; you can finish it in a day... and probably read it again to find the answers to the little prince's riddles.

I decided to take a break from classic novels

Meanwhile, in the land of Brodingnag

Whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot where  only one grew before would deserve a better mankind and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians altogether.

~ Jonathan Swift, Gulliver's Travels

And considering what's happening to our country's politics right now, don't you sometimes wish it to be either the land of Liliput or the kingdom of Brodingnag?

Once upon a time, in the land called Liliput...

Ingratitude is amongst them a capital crime, as we read it to have been in some other countries:  for they reason thus; that whoever makes ill-returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common enemy to the rest of the mankind, from where he has received no obligations and therefore such man is not fit to live.

~ Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift

But what if gratitude leads to something like what is happening right now in our SC?  That this certain Corona is paying his debt of gratitude to that little girl that is being threatened to put to sleep?

What I'm reading right now

Photo credit: goodreads.com

It's Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift.

Book Notes: Around the World in Eighty Days

I randomly selected these books in the wealth of free downloads from goodreads.com.  And I didn't regret one single page of reading the book.

Image copied here

I guess it suits me perfectly since I could not go out these days.  The effects of chemotherapy actually hampers me to go out at least at the mall.  Not to mention the fact that it has been raining almost the whole day for the past number of days.

There were days that I so wanted to go out but could not because of the rain.  There are no storms, but the rain fell hard.

The adventure of Mr. Phileas Fogg to go around the world was to be accomplished within eighty days.  Back then, who would have thought it would have been possible?

Based on what that they discussed before he left London, it was really mathematically possible.  But considering other outside forces like storms, typhoons and other man-made destructions, it was really hard to tell.

There were actually some outside forces that delayed his trip, but as in other people, there are times when the winds are on the right side of our sail.  He overcame them.  But there is a question that I kept in mind as the whole journey progressed.  If not for his fortune, I have doubts that he would have overcame those misfortunes.

Here are my notes about the book.

Far from Thomas' Rainbow

It was a tough book, and here are my few notes about it.

I hope that there would come a time that I'll be ready for this book.  That I'll remember that here, Mexico is a name and not a place or a country.  That I need to remember the name of the psychologist and his girlfriend, or if Mexico is the psychologist with a girlfriend.

3, 4, 5, Alice and the Knave

I remember the first eBook I ever read.  It was "Twilight" by Stephanie Meyer.  Someone gave me the complete series (as of that time it was one to four:  Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn) all on eBook and I got to read only the first.  And it was I guess about two or maybe three years ago.

Image copied here

This time, having running out of books to read, I opted to try reading an eBook and to make the experience not really that dreadful (since with Twilight, I preferred to read the printed word), I opted to choose just a short, classic story, just to have something to read, to past the time, and to experience eBook once again.

You might call it weird but I randomly chose Alice's Adventures in Wonderland at goodreads.com.   I discovered that in that website, there is a wealth of book titles as well as eBooks that are ready to be downloaded and read.  One good thing about it, too, is that you won't be mislead in tracking down the pages if you downloaded the book on the website itself. 

The other good thing that I discovered on the website is that you can embed the eBook itself on your blog so people could see it and maybe download it for themselves.  How cool is that is so cool to me.  

Anyway, as I have started with my last few books, I am linking those few notes that I have written about the book.  As I said in my book blog, I do not make reviews since I believe there are already a wealth of sites that are offering reviews for millions of books.  So, I decided to give it a little twist by incorporating it with my life, or sometimes being an extension of it.

Here is the link to my notes on Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

To give you the experience of having the book embedded on a blog, here is it:

Something about Dr. Jekyll

I tried reading the local illustrated edition of one of those classic novels, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson.

One of the illustrations in the book

And here are my few notes about the book.

(I thought and tried of integrating the above blog link on this blog.  But I still think that separating it is still the best way.  Just saying.)

A quick post before I go for my sixth cycle

*  Right now, I am just killing time before we go to the hospital for my sixth cycle of chemotherapy.  This time, I'm bringing my PSP to see if there's a free Wi-fi there at the hospital.  Cross your fingers with me.

*  My BFF's daughter wanted a funsign for her birthday and I didn't know what it is.  I was told and now, I think you'll be seeing more funsigns on this blog from now on.

*  I haven't been watching much tv lately.  I've been too engrossed on my reading that I sit in front of the tv during my tv hours but not really watching.  I've just finished "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee and I give this book a 5/5 rating.  I'm trying to recall if I have ever seen the movie of this.  But I couldn't recall seeing it.  But this book reminds me very much of John Grisham's "The Client."  I can't help but think that he actually might have based his book on this one.

*  And right after this book, I started "Catcher in the Rye" by J. D. Salinger.  I am intrigued by this book since I  have read a lot about it.  Time to see for myself what this is all about.

*  But of course, I'm still following "100 Days To Heaven."  This teleserye ends tomorrow.  I will surely miss this show.  This is the only teleserye that I have religiously followed from its beginning to the end.  Will there be a sequel?

*  Like most people, I am not actually satisfied with the result of PGT Season 3.  I understand if our kababayan,  "KIRIKO," did not win.  But it is really hard to accept that El Gamman Penumbra and Synergy and those others that have potential did not make it.  With the show's people saying that it's the people who decided by text voting, I realized that maybe Maasinhon Trio's kababayans  joined forces and voted.  Maybe the others' flock didn't try just as hard.  But then again,  this only shows that the show is like a popularity contest.

*  Still on PGT 3.  But of course, I wouldn't go for Khalil Ramos.

*  Still on PGT 3.  It's a good thing that I didn't follow this season from the start to the end.  I only got interested when I read in Facebook that our kababayans made it to the semi-finals.  I swear I won't be following no more PGT season after this.  They say there's no more season 4 because "The X-Factor" is there.  But still, text votes are also a big factor in this show, right?

*  I am about to get pissed off by this eBay buyer who kept promising that she'll pay for the goods she bought. It's been days that she kept telling me that she'll deposit the money today, but never did.  I am being very lenient on her with regard to giving her a strike-out on eBay but my patience is really running out.

It's been a year and I'm waiting

It's been a year and I'm waiting for the sequel.

I've written in my book blog here about the loop holes and my questions about the book.  I hope these all would be answered on the next book.  

I know there would be a next one... I hope there would be a next one.  

Because I want to know more about Tarmanes and what holds that town together, and what made it fell apart - if it really fell apart. 

Something to learn about my frustration

I used to own a Nikon Fm camera back in college and was able to practice photography back then.  I filed all my negatives in a shoe box together with the information for each of the shots that I took (whenever it was possible).  But they're all gone now.  The big flood Reming took away a lot of my memories, this one included.

Read more about Something to learn about my frustration

What we might be missing

I was very fond of the countryside, flowers, birds, etc.  Sometimes I would try to fish with my little line, but I preferred to go alone and sit down on the grass bedecked with flowers, and then my thoughts became very profound indeed!  Without knowing what it was to meditate, my soul was absorbed in real prayer.  I listened to the distant sounds, the murmuring of the wind, etc.  At times, the indistinct notes of some military music reached me where I was filling my heart with a sweet melancholy.

~ Story of a Soul
   The Autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux

Perhaps, we all should do this once in a while.  Maybe in this busy world, this is what we all are missing.  A quiet time all by ourselves, free of our gadgets, or anything that connects us with the technical, artificial world.  Probably a moment with nature is what we need to listen to ourselves, to find out what our heart says, to find out what our minds really want, to find out what our souls really yearn for.

A flower might reveal to us what we have been looking for all along.

I'm back with Ulysses in my hands

I'm back with Ulysses on my hands, a photo by hengeworx on Flickr.

I started "Ulysses" again... and from the top.

It's a good thing that I started it from the top, because even in just in the first paragraph, there were things that I didn't understand the first time I read it.

I hope I can sustain reading it this time.

The reason why I stopped the first time is that I can't seem to relate to it.

And the reason why I am getting back to it now is that those other paperbacks that I have right now have fonts that are too small for me to read nowadays, even with my reading glasses. And it's a good thing that I bought trade paperbacks back then.

I would have started with Stephen King's "The Dark Tower" series which I have read way back in college. I have read it until the fourth book, the last one at that time. I was able to buy illustrated books (I don't know what to call this editions) when I was still at the call center, four of them. BUT, I just discovered and remembered that I wasn't able to find the first book, "The Gunslinger," in the illustrated edition. So, this means that I can't start this series. I don't want to start the series again until I get the first book. I wonder if I can get the same edition as the four that I already have.

Anyway.

I just wish that I could sustain reading and writing about Ulysses this time. To say the least, I am on my way to my third chemotherapy cycle and sometimes I don't really get the mood. I've been lagging behind my reading. My Shelfari says that I haven't read any book this year, so that's how bad I've been lagging.
To see more of my Ulysses posts in the future, just bookmark my book blog, or go to this link.