Deuces, Loves and Underdogs

I arrived at my friend's birthday party with the tv tuned in to the Australian Open 2010 Ladies' Singles Championship match. That's good, because I can't seem to remember when was the last time I get to watch tennis. Looking back asfar as I could remember, I think it was Henin playing for championship; it being her last tournament and announced her retirement.

Now, it's Justin Henin against Serena Williams.

*Image copied from this site.

It was already the last few sets of Game 2. One of my friends asked me whom I was for. I couldn't answer. Because at the back of my mind, I was thinking, "Do we always have to take sides when watching a game?" When I couldn't answer, he said, "You're for Serena, right?" and he explained, "As for me, I always go for the underdogs."

I said, "Not really."

That's because I had a feeling that this was Henin's come-back play and I would really like for her to win. But even if I haven't followed the sport for a long time, I will always remember that 'fire' in Serena Williams' eyes when I've seen her play against her sister in some tournament a few years ago.

Serena lost the second set.

I saw her not fighting for the last game of that set. If I were her, I would have done the same. Why should I if there is still another set. At this point, I also thought that she wanted Henin to think that she lost her confidence. Because I thought so, too. But, no, she fought back. They were both good, physically and mentally. But Serena's decision to bring it to the third set was a good decision. Because I still think Henin didn't have that endurance to finish as strong as she started, like Serena.

And Serena won.

I think my friend was bitter, because he commented, "Nakakasawa na... (This is getting to be boring)" which I took as Serena being always a winner.

But as for me, there were no underdogs on this game.

The finals story is here.

One Morning

This was yesterday while I was waiting for a jeep that will take me to town. Then it took me back to those years then these products are in a cow-drawn caravan-like carriage. My mom used to tell me that those caravans are only in town once in every month or two to sell their toils. Since these brooms come from Baguio, I used to think they come from the north that's why it takes them a month to get to our place. I used to imagine what it feels like to be in a caravan and travel from their place to places like ours. That it must have been both good and bad to travel that way. Good because you get to go places. Bad because that meant that they live in their caravans having to do everything within that makeshift house. But in any case, part of my imagination is the scenery they pass through everyday is priceless.

QE 2

The iconic QE2.

I remember when I was still in Dubai, I used to look for this icon on my may to work every morning, and sometimes on my way home from work, if the sun is still at the horizon. Everytime I get to look at this beautiful ship, there is a certain feeling of awe that I cannot explain. I do not know anything about it until I saw smoke coming from its chimney one morning. I was already captured by that from then on.

You can find more about the QE2 here.

*Image copied from this site.

Co-existence

Busy sa computer si kapatid nang biglang nanggulo ang pusa naming si Dinky.

Sister: "Hindi ka pa puwedeng mag-computer, wala ka pang facebook!"

Note To Self

I was reminiscing since the other day. Took out my diary a year ago and found this. I was wondering where I took it from. So sorry I didn't put the author.

Reminiscing

For the past three weeks, I have been going out on Thursdays to do things from medical requests and visits to things like buying stuffs needed at home. The errands today require a bit of walking since I will have to go to places that are not really near to one another.

First stop was to scan some old pictures that we wanted to post online. Since I only have been going out very seldom since I got here, there were questions and I also have a few stories to share. The owner being an old friend of mine, it was just like updating where we left off. This brought back those times that internet cafes were a hit and we have to wait in line for hours to take our turns. His internet cafe is the one I like best around town since it has a very cozy ambiance, free from online games and noisy kids.

Next errand was to the copier shop where I used to go for my paperworks when I was taking up caregiving. It took a while because there were a lot of jobs to do before my turn. But on our way to this shop, we saw a friend whom I haven't seen for so many years. Since this is not very timely, we just set up a date next week where we can update each other. I hope this would push through before she leaves the country.

After the copier shop, we then walk our way to the book store for some office supplies and along the way, we met a friend who I also haven't seen since I can remember. She now owns a canteen near the school and is inviting us for some dinner anytime. I remember that we used to go to my sister's aerobic classes even before I took up caregiving which was already about five years ago.

Then I went to my friend's house to deliver the capsules she ordered. I met her mother whom I haven't seen for about nine years already. It was good to see her again and the place they have. My sister even remembered that we even got to play pictionary at their place one time.

Since we took so long for these things to get done, I wasn't able to stick to my original plan. It was to visit my friend's daughter confined at the hospital because of dengue. The truth is, I am still a little adamant about going to visits to sick people because of the superstition that it's not good for sick people to visit sick people. This might also be due to the fact that I am still recuperating from my surgery.

During dinner, one of my friends came and brought muscovado sugar. This is the same friend who brought it weeks ago. We talked about those rations that are being given at the municipal hall from time to time. I got interested as to what are the contents of one ration. Since her relatives came from one of those affected areas, they are entitled to have a stub for this ration. I asked for a picture of the contents because I am curious and just so I can post it on my blog.

I am taking it that this came from the World Food Program. My friend said that the rice came from Japan, the cooking oil from USA, and the noodles are from Malaysia.

I also got a picture from the typhoon. We couldn't exactly tell if this was after Pepeng, Ondoy or Santi. But, there's a certain funny feeling that we couldn't remember anymore, which is actually a good thing. Sometimes it's better to forget these things.

This was taken in front of my friend's relative's house. This is their gate. Although the typhoons were months ago and the flood had totally subsided, these people are still struggling to recover from what happened. I think it's just a good thing that these organizations are continually sending their aids. A half cavan of rice will go a long way for small families and will save a day of meal for a bigger one.

Lastly, when I opened my Facebook account, the first update was from my best friend and it is about a video of Hall and Oates, one of our favorites from the 1980's. I started viewing their performances and it felt really good.

What a day... I am still reminiscing... I guess I will until I fall asleep tonight.

Jotter

Don't you just hate it when this happens?

I dislike pens like this. That's why I opt for Parkers. It's not cheap, I know, but one pen will last for more than a year... really worth the money.

On Wishing

On the news two days ago, a Filipina was found among the rubbles of a supermarket in Haiti. Something that is good news not only to the family but to us Filipinos. The family was interviewed and was rejoicing about the good news. As always, one would be asked to speak and say something. the father of the OFW said something like: We are very thankful that they found her. Then, he was calling for his daughter to just come home and stay here and that they will get by with whatever. I know how he feels. My dad would say the same and I am sure a million more dads will.

What I can't help but write about is his next statement. He was then asking for the government to speed things up to bring his daughter home. At that moment, I felt a little annoyed. There are still about 400 or whatever OFWs that need to be found. At least this is the number I have in mind since that is what the news is saying, or probably how I understood it. Flights may have to be a little difficult to be arranged, assistance may be a little harder since all were still busy looking for the others, etc. It's really hard to picture and decipher what is actually going on in there even if we see it in pictures. And this father is asking for the speedy return of his daughter. His daughter was found: that's the greatest news for him. Now, he's asking for something else, with a little bit of urgency. He should have been just thankful enough that his daughter was found and is alive and well.

Yesterday, sadly, the update about this Filipina was frustrating. There was a mistake. She is still missing. The father, again, was interviewed, and I can see the gloom on his face.

Today, I caught a glimpse of the contents of the front page of a newspaper: RESCUED PINOY JOINS SEARCH FOR OTHER VICTIMS.

He should have wished his daughter could just have been doing the same.

Him

Last Saturday.

Two million people. Two million reasons.

One common act.

Devotion.

To HIM who they know that is always there.

*picture taken using my Nokia 3230

Two Occasions

After the CT Scan result, we celebrated Christmas. I am sure no one will disagree if I say that this is by far the happiest Christmas ever.

Monday after Christmas, as per my doctor-friends' recommendation, I went to see an oncologist. Yes, two of my doctor-friends. They say that this is the next step, so I took it.

My oncologist told me that the result is indeed good... that the cancer was removed and is gone. But... that she cannot assure me that the cancer would not be back. She requested that I, again, take the CA 125 [ more information about it on this site] to establish the difference between what was taken in Dubai and now, after the operation. Together with this were other tests which will tell if I will require further treatment and if my body could take it. She recommended that I take this after the holidays as people will be on leave or on vacation.

So, at least we celebrated these two occasions with a happy and thankful mood.

I went to the lab Thursday last week to have my blood taken and results come out next week, because as per what the Med Tech said, the CA 125 test is a special test and would be taken to Manila, thus, the week-long wait for the results.

December Dilemma

Notice that I didn't go into the details of the time that I was at the hospital. I originally wanted to, but I am still thinking whether some events are really better told personally than written. So, I decided to just pass on it and just try to go into bits of experience later on.

I got out of the hospital on the 26th of November. The first week was not very easy not just because of the pain, but also, the adjustments that I have to do during these first few days of being home.

Another hard thing is that the result of the biopsy [taken from the cyst] did not turn out good. My doctor-friend could not tell me personally so it took a while before my sister had the courage to do so. After the revelation, my friends started coming. They started to spend more time at our home than the usual. They have their weekend dinners here at our home bringing stuffs to eat. I really appreciate it even I abstained from eating what they brought. This is because I opted to go for alternative ways to fight cancer.

I am most touched by those friends who tried to help in their little ways. Most of them drop by for a visit to ask what's good and what's not good, then come back with whatever they can bring. I have a friend who came here bringing a kilo of muscovado sugar because she learned from us that this is what I am using instead of the regular sugar. Someone brought me a piece of underwear as a gift. One friend brought a Nescafe-glass full of miracle seed which he said his mom used to cure one of her illnesses previously. I wanted a link of this but currently all I can find are ads here and there so I opted not to.

During these two weeks, I have a dilemma. After detecting the cancer, I was advised by my doctor-friend [who has been there for me all along, too] to go for CT Scan to stage, locate and detect new growths of cancer. I DID NOT want to. For physical, mental and financial reasons. Mental because logic tells me that what is the purpose of spending too much to just know where and what stage the cancer is. I have cancer... that's it, period.

But after thinking hard, I came up with the reasoning. If I choose to go for alternative medicines, how will I know if I am improving or deteriorating? How will I know if what I am doing works? There should be some point where I can start. Convinced, the only problem was the second reason. And through the help of relatives that I didn't even ask, I went inside that dome-like equipment for about 30 minutes. Not to mention that I had to drink this substance for contrast [a CT Scan process that brings clearer results].

It was the 17th when we got the CT Scan result - CLEAR. All tests - pelvic, abdomen and chest - did not show any new growth, any stage, any sign of cancer.

During these two weeks, I maintained a diet that does not include all those cancer-causing and cancer-enhancing foods. Well, these foods are those that are mentioned by friends and relatives who have relatives or friends or know-someone with cancer. I followed all this, totally changing my diet to just vegetables and fish [deep sea fishes], etc. And there is one plant that my Dad heard of to cure cancer. It's the regular back-yard, most-of-the-time ignored plant, MALUNGGAY [Moringa oleifera]. If, STILL, some of you do not know what it looks like, I took this picture [just this morning] in front of our house where we harvest our leaves. I have done a lot of research on this plant and the more I researched, the more I am finding out about the benefits of this plant, other than cancer prevention and cure.

picture copied from this site

One of my friends also told me that the native GUYABANO [Soursop aka Guanabana and Graviola in other countries] fruit is like having chemotherapy 10,000 times. He said that one of his friends has cancer and underwent chemotherapy for several times but came in to a point where he told the doctor that he can't anymore. He was told by his doctor to eat Guyabano instead because that is 10,000 times worth of chemotherapy. So, I included this in my diet, too. I take a small portion of it together with my breakfast every day.

Of course, we all know about the carrot so I won't go into that. But, just FYI, I also have a piece of that every day, either turned into a shake or as a snack (which sometimes may get a little difficult to finish). Just to give a little tip, carrot shake is kind of rough when you're swallowing it but that is bearable.

I opted to write about these things [thus, making this post longer] because I believe these things help me through. If you know someone or someone-who-knows-someone with cancer, these things might help them through, too.

But above all these, I think the most effective is my doctor-friend's advice to PRAY and to "always keep a happy disposition, because being depressed and staying depressed activates the cancer cells."

Market Day

Today.

Our town's market day.

I felt good that I can now finally visit the market. I miss those times as a young adult that I go to market to buy our food. Back then, I can approximately tell one kilo just by how heavy it is when I lift it with my hands. A skill I acquired through frequent visits to the market and of course, practice.

Within

Today.

It's my sister's second day on her aerobics classes. I went with her just to watch, because I am getting bored staying home. Besides, I will also see a lot of friends, a lot of people I know.

They started just about on time. As I watched them, I was envious. I was happy. I was teary-eyed.

Now I wanted to join, but I can't - not until after six more months.

I started to think back during those times that I could have been, those times that I wasted, and I envy these people for being lucky they can still do it. I said a little prayer for them so that they will have the motivation to continue doing what they already stared because it's good for them.

Some people [not exactly these people who attended] do it just to look good on the outside. Once they got the look they aimed for and lost those pounds they didn't, they stop.

But what they didn't know - and a thing that it took me a lot to realize - is that what it's really doing is good for what is within our body, which is more important.

Far more important.

Let's learn from other people. Now, ME being a part of those other people to learn from.

Sweet November

The schedule didn't go as planned. For three times, my operation was moved due to circumstances that are just there. But as we all know, but seldom believe, things happen for a reason. And when they finally they do happen, we are preoccupied with either thoughts or emotions that clouds our eyes that are supposed to see them. I, too, am guilty of this, like no other.

Since the time I went home, we were only aiming for the OB-GYNE's schedule. The postponement were actually things that I consider as directly and indirectly related to her itinerary. But the Friday [20 November 2009] that I was going to get my clearance to finally get admitted, a text message changed the whole thing. A surgeon was there and would be willing to do the the cholecystectomy.

Thus, it was indeed a sweet November.

And it was all set. I believe you also saw the reason why it took so long.

The Winds

It maybe due to the holidays, or the cold breeze... because I couldn't seem to bring myself to sit down and write about what happened after my flight. I have lots of thoughts about what to write, but the problem is I couldn't sit down. It's not that I don't have the time. I actually have a lot of time; being here in our home all the time. I then realize that this might be the same thing that happened when I stopped writing during Ramadan. I wish I am a writer so I can officially say this is writer's block. But I am NOT.

Anyway, I got here during one of the worse times that people can remember. And I am sure this is also one of those times that will be remembered for a long time. Ondoy and Pepeng went one after the other, and I got here when our people were still cleaning up what they left. I saw the pictures. But I wanted to be there, to smell the stale flood water, to ride through the flood. I told myself I will do it before my operation. And I did.

I particularly went to the street where I grew up... P. Burgos St.

My sister and I rode the pedicab from about 500 meters away which was in front of the church. As the pedicab waded through the floods, I was having goose flesh. I am seeing more than how I imagined. The mess they left with our Kababayans. But as we go through, I started not to look at what these two typhoons had done. Instead, I started to look at what our Kababayans are doing.

The pedicab driver kept pedaling, and I saw his feet turning white from long periods of being soaked with not-just-water but flood water. I see these people moving around continuing with their lives.

Then, I thought: We Filipinos are really very strong people. And as they tweeted a thousand times during Ondoy and Pepeng:

"Where I came from, everyone is a HERO."

I believe this is so.